Valentine's Day Humor

My Dad forwarded these rhymes to me and I thought you would all get a kick out of them.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming,
that's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot:
this describes everything you are not.

4. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

5. I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

6. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

And my favorite:

7. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Happy Valentine's Day!